


The Pink Haired Protagonist Wants Nothing To Do With Fate! But He Will Keep The Talking Cat, Thank You

by In_Much_Stress



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cat Boy Dream, Cat Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Fluff, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, No Beta We Die Like Endermen, Romance, Technoblade is so tired, screeching our lungs out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29212899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_Much_Stress/pseuds/In_Much_Stress
Summary: Technoblade spent over a decade avoiding being a Protagonist™. But, in the end, the Universe is a goddamn cheater.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 359





	The Pink Haired Protagonist Wants Nothing To Do With Fate! But He Will Keep The Talking Cat, Thank You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dreamnoblade Fanart Book](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27121373) by [Suga_BloomLili](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suga_BloomLili/pseuds/Suga_BloomLili). 



> Inspired by Lili's Cat Boy Dream fanart~ Keep up the great job, Lili!! <3
> 
> If anyone can find the Tumblr post about the anime protagonist not wanting to be part of shenanigans, please send me the link so I can link it here~!
> 
> Also, I made a dnb insta, it's @inmuchstress

“I’m home…”

“Techno!”

Techno instinctively opens his arms to accept the “attack” and soon enough he’s holding a very excitable cat in his arms. A cat that curls his arms around Techno’s neck and his legs around Techno’s waist, shamelessly clinging to him while purring loudly. Techno sighs, accepting the fact he won’t be able to take off his coat so soon while he tries to take off his shoes. In the past he wouldn’t bother, but Dream likes walking around only in socks and rolling and napping on the floor, so to help keep the floor clean, all shoes are banned from the inside of the house.

He never thought he’d do something like that for a cat, but Dream isn’t a normal cat anyways, so it’s fine.

“Are you getting clingier?” Dream has been very affectionate ever since the beginning, but these last few days it seems like he wants to glue himself to Techno.

Dream finally stops nuzzling his neck, leaning back so they could see eye to eye. The intensity of his green eyes steals Techno’s breath once again, and the way his ears twitch cutely makes his heart skip a beat. Dream gives him an odd look, something sad and resigned, something that squeezes the man’s insides without mercy. Before he can ask what’s the matter, the blonde jumps out of his arms and tells him to go take a shower so they can eat, disappearing in the kitchen without giving Techno a chance to investigate.

Worry wraps around his heart, but after almost half a year knowing the blonde, he has learned that poking at the wrong time will give him no results. So he goes forth with his routine, hanging his coat, going to his bedroom, grabbing some comfortable clothes and finally taking a long shower.

The warm water does little to soothe him. Memories of his first meeting with Dream play in his mind and he lets them, because meeting Dream is one of the brightest highlights of his life.

The thing is: Technoblade is a Protagonist™. And he is fully aware of it, has been ever since his hair turned bright pink when he was ten years old and his mother started talking about a prophecy told to her by the faeries of how her child was to be named Technoblade and live as the King of a faraway land with her as his advisor. Of course, he didn’t believe a single word she said, already quite hardened by the reality of living with a divorced mother with a below average income.

But, ends up, when the Universe—or whatever/whoever is in charge of this pitiful plotline—is determined,  _ it is determined,  _ and so, Technoblade spent the next eleven years of his life dodging its machinations. And there have been  _ a lot _ of them. Talking animals, prophetic dreams, damsels in distress, self-proclaimed rivals, random robot/creatures attacks, shady guys, very bubbly new students… He’s pretty sure a truck tried to isekai him somewhere at one point. In short, Techno’s only wish in life is to live an average life of an office worker, get his mother—who is still preaching about her faeries—the money she deserves after working her butt off to raise and support him, get himself some money to live a good life and die peacefully at some old age, but the Universe just won’t make it easy.

He managed to get exactly where he wanted just before meeting Dream.

One day, Techno found a cat outside his house. Its fur was dirty and it was very thin, but what got his attention was the intensity of its green eyes, staring directly at him as if challenging him not to take it home. And Techno couldn’t resist the challenge—to this day he doesn’t know if it's because he’s a Protagonist™ or just likes challenges—, bringing it home, washing it and feeding it. After a good wash, he could see the cat’s fur was a beautiful champagne, and really soft, almost like a fluffy…

“... dream…” The cat perked up after hearing that word, meowing loudly and bumping his head on Techno’s hand. But instead of wholesome, Techno felt like a bucket of cold water had just been thrown on him, gently pushing the cat away and putting distance between them. “Go back to your master and tell’em I am  _ not _ going to save the world or something.”

“Rude, that’s not how you accept a gift.” The cat pouted, as if  _ Techno  _ was the problem here.

Wait.

Rewind.

“Gift?”

“Yep, yep! The Universe sent me as a gift for your efforts~”

“What type of sick humor does the Universe have to reward me for ignoring it?”

“Well, you want it or not, it’s not like you can just not accept,” the cat says, licking his paws cutely, “It’s temporary, of course, but it’s still a gift.”

“Yeah, no, that’s a no, goodbye, hasta la vista, go by the shade.”

Techno grabbed the cat by the scruff, ready to throw it out the door, but as soon as he did it, there was a sudden cloud of green smoke, and instead of the scruff of a cat, he was holding the nape of a very naked guy. With a startled yelp, he let go of the man, falling on the floor in his fright. His eyes didn’t know where to look: blonde curly hair, intense green eyes, thin rosy lips, cute nose, creamy shoulders, unblemished torso, supple thighs… but they did not dare to stop at the middle of said thighs.

Ends up the Universe didn’t send just any cat, but a cat  _ boy. _ And a pretty one at that. Once properly clothed—and by “properly clothed” he means drowning in one of Techno’s sweaters because being adorable wasn't enough, Dream also needed to be  _ tiny—,  _ Dream explained that he was sent to Techno as a companion for a few months and in exchange the faeries—goddamned  _ faeries _ again—would help break his unwanted engagement to George, a friend who has zero interest in him. And that is how Techno spent the last half year in the company of a cute cat boy.

A cute cat boy he has feelings for, but we will not talk about it.

Because right now Techno battles with the knowledge that Dream suddenly got clingy because the time for them separating is probably getting near and the needy blonde wants some last snuggles before going away for the rest of their lives.

Remember when it was said that Techno has feelings for Dream?

That shower is not a happy one, and Techno is quick in getting out and dressed. If Dream really is going back to his world, then each second spent away from the cat boy is a wasted second the pinkette won’t get back. Throwing on a comfy pair of pants and a random shirt, he makes his way out of the bathroom and to the kitchen, not even stopping to tame his hair or check if he properly put his dirty clothes in the basket with the others.

When he gets there, he’s greeted with the view of Dream trying to reach a cup sitting innocently on the highest shelf, his lithe body stretched as much as possible so the green hoodie Techno bought him goes up to expose his smooth skin and allow the silky champagne tail to move even more freely. The combo of shorts and stockings show off the visible parts of his thighs, and Techno’s hands twitch with the memory of holding them and sinking his fingers in the soft flesh. Before he can even think, the man is standing behind the blonde, hugging him to his chest. Dream hides his face in his neck, nuzzling him gently.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Maybe you don’t need to.”

“No, I have to return, and it has to be today. I failed my mission.”

Ok.

Record scratch.

“What mission?”

Dream turns around, looking at Techno in the eyes. His cute cat ears flop down in sadness, and even his tail falls limp. He caresses Techno’s face tenderly, emitting a soft, sorrowful purr. The pink haired man can’t take the saddened look in his kitty’s eyes, but he cannot look away either.

“I was supposed to bring you to the other world, that’s the deal I made with the faeries…” He explains in a trembling voice, “But you just looked so tired that I didn’t have the heart to crush you like that. I have to go back and marry George, and you’ll get to live the average life you want.”

He tries to smile, but it comes off as a grimace. Techno hugs him tighter, mind racing with the information he just got and million of thoughts about what he’s to do next. The obvious solution is to just give in and go with Dream to the “other world”, but can he really do that? Can he really just give up everything after a decade of fighting against a fate he doesn’t want? The second option is to go to the faeries and  _ persuade _ them into allowing Dream to stay, but he doesn’t want anything to do with the beings that made his life a mess.

“... can at least your engagement be stopped?” He has to ask, because Dream makes a distressed expression every time they talk about his loveless engagement.

“Well…” Dream’s lovely face turns a pretty shade of red, his tail moving behind him as he mumbles something. Techno leans in to hear him better and the blonde gets even redder. “You can… you can always deflower me…”

Silence.

_ “D… deflower?!” _

A strangled noise leaves his lips as Technoblade steps away from the cat boy, feeling his ears and face burn with a fierce blush, his heart beating so hard against his ribs it feels like it’s going to break something inside him. Dream refuses to look at him, instead clutching his tail in the adorable way he does when flustered, explaining shyly that it would be rude to “give” someone an impure bride, so if Techno takes his first time, Dream will only ever be able to marry someone who is genuinely interested in him, out of the arranged marriage market for the rest of his life.

“And…” Dream continues, as if he didn’t just make Techno need a reboot, “If you do that, I’ll have something special to remember you by…”

It is absolutely not fair how cute he acts, rubbing his plush thighs together and playing with his tail while his eyes flicker from Techno to the floor and back. The pinkette sighs, shoulders sagging. It’s clear he has to make a choice now, or he will lose his crush forever, and he hasn’t even confessed yet!

“... mom is going to be so smug once I tell her.”

Fine, Universe. You win.

But Techno is taking the cat with him.


End file.
